Eleven years ago, I hated the thought of going to Canada.

Eleven years ago, I was eleven years old, and a new immigrant. I had my mother, father, and three-year-old sister, and English to defend myself.

My family set foot in Canada at noon after a twelve-hour flight with Philippine Airlines, two weeks after 9/11. We didn’t get out of YVR until 3 pm. (Boy, were we lucky, since security everywhere and even getting in Canada was harder after that time!)

“Canada?” I didn’t even know what country that was…apparently, it was “new”.

We had a despidida (farewell party) a week before we left, but my father had a full disk in the video camera, so we only have photos to sustain our memories. The night before leaving, we did not sleep. We had friends and family over at our house. My 2 best friends were surprisingly allowed to sleep over, and we vowed to keep the friendship going forever! BFFs indeed.

This was the night before the flight!

The morning we had to leave, we had at least 5 vehicles packed with friends and family (also our luggage). Everyone was in good spirits, yet it was a bittersweet moment, filled with “goodbyes” and “until we meet again”. We didn’t even know when that would be.

I jokingly-but-not-really told my family that I wish that we’d miss the flight, so we don’t have to go to Canada. At eleven years old, I was convinced that I had the best life ever: I was going to a private Catholic school, was surrounded by many friends, had both my Fetalino and Ramirez side on my side, got all the clothes, accessories, and all the cutesy stationery I ever wanted.

Look at how young we were! This was a few minutes before we got on board.
I was told that I needed binoculars…this was during the days when I was part of the “Scientifically Inclined Students Club”.

I hated the thought of going to Canada.

I hated the fact that I had to go to a public school. I hated how everyone hated what I was wearing (umm, wearing Hello Kitty, and Power Puff Girls were cool during that time, in the Philippines, okay? They’re “signature” clothes ). I hated how I left my friends a year before gradding….from elementary. I hated how I’d no longer spend time with my cousins. I hated how Tita could no longer spoil me. I hated how Nanay and Tatay can no longer be just two doors down. I hated how I could no longer “beautify” Owa. I hated that we would now miss every major occasion, especially Christmas reunions.

Especially Christmas reunions!

Our first Christmas in Canada was the toughest. In Filipino families, Christmas is THE time of the year where the best of everything happens. Our families were celebrating with Secret Santa presents, laughing over “Meron o Wala” games, flaunting their holiday gear, and of course getting fat before the New Year. Meanwhile, we were dressed in red and “frolick(ing) and play(ing) the Eskimo way”…yet not even the fake Santa at my dad’s work cheered me up. It was not the same!

Do I still hate being in Canada?

Of course not! Canada has given us so many opportunities that my parents had promised me, but I was too young to understand then. Ultimately, I know they made the biggest sacrifice, leaving the place they’ve lived in for over 3 decades, leaving family and friends, leaving careers and other opportunities, and leaving dreams they might have had then, to move over to a foreign land where family means just me and my sister. In Canada, people with dreams, hopes, and aspirations are encouraged to chase after them. We’re given the opportunity that attracts immigrants like my parents to leave everything they have for something that they could have. It’s a gamble. I’ve seen it not work for everyone. Yet in Canada, we celebrate diversity, more than anywhere else I’ve ever been to. And I’m grateful to “our home and native land” for giving immigrant families like us the chance to start over again, or simply start.

Our first Christmas in Canada at Papa’s work Christmas event

I’ve been to Manila four times since 2001. The first, in July 2004, when Owa passed away. Next, in August 2008, after graduating…this was our first trip back home as a family since we left (Papa didn’t join us in 2004.) The next one was in September 2011, when Nanay got diagnosed with cancer, and Tatay was so frail. Finally, just this year in June I went…for my best friend’s wedding, but also to break the cycle of only visiting during hard times. Every single time I visit, I grow a bit and bit more, and understand the differences/similarities between the Canadian and Filipino experience. Every single time I visit, there’s a strong sense of nostalgia, but also a wide curiosity of how the Philippines is like — I am a tourist. However, it also feels like every time I visit, it’s a final goodbye to a loved one.

I’d like to dedicate this post to those who’ve contributed to the best childhood ever, but are no longer there to hear me even say it:

• Owa
• Tita Flora
• Nanang Reming
• Uncle Tito
• Nanang Luming
• Tatay
• Nanay
• and to everyone else we’ve lost while being so far away.

Thanks to everyone who’s made my past eleven years in Canada so memorable, and for proving my parents right. We are here for our future, and I feel blessed that we were given this opportunity. Over the past eleven years, I have met those whom I’ve laughed with, cried over, bitched about, had a heart-to-heart with, talked on the phone with (remember when people actually TALKED on the phone!), had all-nighters with,  ….you’ve added to my story and turned me into the weirdo I am today (yes, you are a bit responsible). And you’ve made me feel that I could also call Canada home. And to everyone else, I have yet to meet or do those mentioned above with, good luck! But I have not forgotten my roots either — salamat po and until we meet again

For nanay and tatay…

Yesterday, I got the chance to visit my grandparents’ gravesite. For those of you who don’t know, my family had to go on an emergency trip to the Philippines in the fall of last year, because my grandmother was very ill. Before November ended, and we were already back in Canada, my grandfather passed away…nine days later my grandmother did too. Thankfully we were there to spend their last moments with them. Thankfully, I expressed my love and care for them when I knew they could still feel it. No regrets.

The reality of my grandparents’ death has finally stared me in the face yesterday. It’s one thing to watch the viewing online (hello, e-burol), it’s another thing to see them laid to rest at last. I was very hesitant in coming, but I’m glad I did. It would’ve been my grandmother’s 82nd birthday on Tuesday, and I’m happy for her that she’s with her true love, forever in peace.They provided the foundation for our family, and forever they would be missed. Had my grandma been there, I know she would’ve hugged me as I let those tears fall…but I know that her love, along with my grandfather’s, forever stays in our hearts and our memory.

“No Other Love can warm my heart
Now that I’ve known the comfort of your arms
No other love.”

Rest in peace, Tatay and Nanay.

Reason, season, or lifetime

Tags

reason season lifetime, reflections, relationships

This has nothing to do with the post, but I like cupcakes.

I’ve come across this poem a few years ago, and it resonated with me. We meet people all the time, get close, and although we’d like to be friends forever, there are instances when things change naturally. Although the relationship may have faded, the memories always bring an inner LOL to me, and they always come back to me at the oddest moments (like when I’m splitting my ends). Here’s the poem…I hope you enjoy it too.

Just sayin’…

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

A week and a half: Being a Vegetarian

Tags

animals, vegetarian

The Naam veggie steak that I did not like. I like potatoes though. Yum.

So, on April 1, I became a vegetarian. No joke!

WHY are you doing this, Justinne?

As you all know, I enjoy watching documentaries. Nah, you probably didn’t know that.

I stumbled upon Robert Kenner’s Food Inc. (2008) and felt distraught about the conditions of animal slaughter. Most of them don’t even see the light of day. What’s the point of living for these animals? Why are we so cruel?

 

The documentary made me think a lot, and the more I look at my bunny (before) and our cat now, I can’t even imagine that people eat animals like them somewhere.

 

I love animals, and really think that we should protect them. With all the technology  that we’ve developed, I’m really curious to see if we can have food alternatives that don’t have to involve suffering of other living creatures. I know there’s a few in the works.

 

Although I do enjoy my meat, I thought that maybe I should try living without it. This month, I decided to put that thought into action.

WHAT do you eat?

I know that everyone has their own views on being a vegetarian and what it involves, etc., but I thought that I should at least take it slow. I’ve never really been much of a vegetable eater myself, so even just simply eating vegetables is quite challenging. I’ve decided that my challenge this month is to not eat meat.. I eat eggs, dairy products, but I do not eat meat. I think that’s good to start with.

I went to The Naam last week, and although I didn’t particularly enjoy the veggie steak, it’s nice to know Vancouver has options. The Foundation is my fave so far (it’s the only other veggie restaurant I’ve been to), and I’ve yet to go this month.

HOW does it feel so far?

It’s been challenging to choose from restaurant menus, and being Filipino and all, there’s meat everywhere at home. I’ve been surrounded by mouthwatering dishes, and had to REJECT JOLLIBEE CHICKEN JOY. Portobello mushroom burgers, soup, salad, bread, etc. = my restaurant feast!

I haven’t really read much about a vegetarian diet, so so far it’s been pretty bad for me. I’ve felt weak several times during the day, and tend to have a higher sugar intake especially at night because I’m hungry! I haven’t even been to the gym since the month started (okay, that’s probably because I’m busy with my new position, and tend to relax when home)…I have to start being healthy!

WILL YOU continue this?

So far, it’s only been a month. I’ve been getting AWESOME food suggestions from friends, so I really like how there’s something there for me. I went grocery shopping last week and got a vegetarian scallopine, which has been my only meat-like food option at home. There’s a few to still try: veggie ground rounds, Yves, Tofurky, etc.

Lettuce see how this goes for me! In the meantime, would love to know what YOU suggest!

Just sayin’…

Chicken Joy---DENIED.

This is exactly what I need to tell myself right now.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Please stop me

It all started in Grade 10, when I saw female classmates stare at their hair to pass time over the teacher’s lecture. That’s when I took my scissors and started cutting violently. Alas, my split ends were left alone until the next English class.

It’s not because my hair is super gross, but it’s bound to have split ends even after a haircut. But splitting my ends became a habit of a week. Months. And now, it’s been years and my eyes have gone blurrier than ever. I’m required to wear eyeglasses everyday, but do I? No, because I don’t like the look as much. Also, I have to remove them anyways to split my ends. How inconvenient. (Contacts scare me.)

I find myself automatically zoning out to split my ends. I do it at work. I do it while on Facebook. I do it while in my boyfriend’s car. For all you know, I’ve been doing it in between paragraphs.

And I can do it for  hours (and a half) and it never bores me.

I want to stop, but this bad habit has given me so much satisfaction—the relief I get once a split end has been found and pulled apart (and sometimes you can hear it spliiiit) has kept me telling myself that this would be the last time…for this hour anyway.

I put my hair up, I get a hair cut, I remember why I shouldn’t be doing it (because I can no longer see the friggin split ends or anything else for that matter).  It’s been my New Year’s Resolution since 2006. Splitting my ends give me time to think, time to breathe, time to get away. I’m just in my little world, working my little fingers and hoping to find a strand with multiple split ends, because that’s extra special.

I want to stop. My eyes  burn, and soon my fingers would get arthritis. Ew.

So the next time you see me do it, please stop me. STOP ME. Don’t be polite, but you could save me, my eyes, my bank account (from dishing out $$$ on upgrading my glasses). You can feel better about yourself, and I’ll feel like you care.

Just sayin’…

Before I forget, here’s what I think of The Vow

Tags

channing tatum, film, rachel mcadams, review, the vow, vancouver

“Life’s all about moments, of impact and how they change our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?” –The Vow

***SPOILER ALERT.

I finally decided to watch The Vow yesterday.

The Vow tells a story based on true events, about a man named Leo and woman named Paige who fell in love and got married. After a car accident, Paige suffers from severe memory loss, with memories erased from when she met Leo. Although frustrations run high, Leo tries to win the love of his wife back and repaints their love story for her to experience. Soon he realizes that she is no longer the same woman he married. Unfortunately, she never recollects her memories with him and struggles to fall back in love with the husband who’s now a “stranger”. Months pass, and they meet again…could their love be rekindled?

I thought that it would be a typical rom-com where the movie shows how Paige gradually falls in love with Leo all over again. I thought I was going to feel so mushy and cute after, but instead I got an unexpected plot that got me thinking a bit.

I could imagine how frustrating it is for Leo to have to make his own wife remember him again, especially when she’s stuck with the memories she’s had before they met. She had a very different preppy lifestyle back then, compared to the spontaneous artist she turned out to be with him.

His dedication was overflowing, yet I felt hopeless for him. I felt the divorce coming, since he could have been any guy to her, in spite of his deep love. I wonder if Paige felt anything at all? Is it possible to be in love with someone, get memory loss, and not have any feelings of affection towards your loved one?

I felt especially emotional when Leo finally realizes that trying to win her back may be a lost case, and he said, “Do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?” 

As for the movie itself, I think that there was a bit of an awkwardness to it. I don’t know if there was something lacking with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum’s on-screen chemistry, but I felt uncomfortable and disconnected at times. Perhaps there’s something wrong with me.

There were attempts to be comedic, but either the timing was not right, or the angle of the camera (?!) was weird. There were times when I thought Tatum’s acting seemed forced, but his character was otherwise charming (and almost flawless for a guy). He said a lot of chick-flicky lines which swooned the audience (and a few gasps for his biceps). McAdams’ has the usual sweetheart charm as seen on her many romantic movies.

Well, I DO like the concept and the story, but I think that the film could have been executed better.

Just sayin’…

P.S. Another quote I liked:

“I chose to stay with him for all the things he’s done right; not the one thing he’s done wrong.” – The Vow

SPA EVIAN- Feels like a mini-getaway!

Tags

couples massage, date idea, date night, kitsilano, spa, spa evian, vancouver

As seen on Yelp.ca

Spa Evian reception

MY SITUATION

To celebrate my anniversary with my boyfriend, we decided to splurge a bit more than usual dinner, and get a couple’s massage. It took me awhile to find one that has a good reputation, yet at the same time being affordable. Yelp introduced me to Spa Evian!

The spa

AMBIENCE

It was a plus to know that they have free underground parking for their customers. Free and parking are rare combination nowadays. We were pleasantly greeted by the front desk employee, who directed us to the next room, which is a room with a large screen and spa chairs for pedis/manis.

Serene it was, and clean for sure. I used the washroom, and was excited by the heated toilet with an automatic bidet!

The couples’ room had two heated water beds, with a built-in shower, sink, and towels everywhere. Of course, the elevator (SPA) music was on, which added to a relaxing mood.

The spa was very big, and I understand that they hold parties often too (hello GNO) while a movie plays on the big screen.

Couple's Massage Room

THE SERVICE

From the phone to the estheticians, we had a very positive experience. It was my boyfriend’s first spa experience, and he wasn’t too comfortable at the thought of a spa at first (I’ve had spa experiences outside of Canada). The estheticians (I had Anny) were very polite, professional, and respected that it was a relaxing place (they weren’t chatty).

I had the “relaxing massage” while my boyfriend had a “deep tissue massage”, as the receptionist suggested that men like a harder pressure. I felt very relaxed, and the esthetician seemed knowledgeable about which muscular spots need attention and pressure.

My boyfriend thought that his pressure was too strong, since he didn’t know what to expect. Perhaps if you’re not enjoying your experience as much, you really should speak up as the estheticians just want to do their job well.

I loved my massage especially when they put the really hot towel on my back. It was just the right way to complement the oil and massage.

Tea and a film please?

OVERALL EXPERIENCE

The one-hour experience felt like a mini-getaway! I’ve been raving about this spa and my experience that I feel like it’s been ages since I last went (it’s only been a week!).

The only thing that I didn’t like was the aromatherapy. I didn’t really smell it, and I chose lavender (they make you choose in the beginning).

At the end of the session, they gave my boyfriend and I each, a $20-gift card to their spa , small sea face sponge, and masque.

The couples’ massage total was less than $200, plus tax and grats.

I also liked how they thanked us via a customized email after, which just shows that they appreciated our business.

Subscribe to their Facebook page for specials as well.

So basically, YES I DEFINITELY RECOMMEND!

Just sayin’…

To find out more about Spa Evian, click here.

We paid for the experience ourselves, and this review is not sponsored.